blogs 2008

Posted 8 Feb 09, 6:22AM

Its been a longer that usual week

For about two weeks now ive had a hideous cough and a hideously dry blocked and snotty nose ( it is possible to have a dry and snotty nose at once) trust me i know.

I coped well with last weeks dinner party for 6 and cooked muscles in white wine and coconut milk and kegeree and a prawn and green salsa starter. It was delicious.

Im very grateful to be able to have access to such luxurious food from time to time. Although its a resourse i have access to myself living close to the beach.

As children dad regaluy took us dirty musceling, cockling and oystering. What happy memories what lucky children. I miss Dad so much.

At our party I only had a few glasses of wine but woke up with my mouth feeling like the bottom of a bird cage. Very rough. Over a week later i still dont feel very much better.

What with snow disruption, lack of routine, which incidentally i now crave and used to despise, feeling below parr, I felt grim, cold and tearful.

I read too much, heard too many sad stories, one especially about Jade Goody and her worsening illness. And I read that people have actually been putting horrid messages about her on face book.
God WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SO WICKED. I wouldnt blame jade for the way shes been educated, for the enviroment and social class that she been brought up with, for her mother being a crack addict. For the lessons that she has had to learn. So why do they ????

I know theres worse things going on in the world. Worse cruelties but when does it get to the point that one human being could actually be so very cruel to another human being or animal why dont I have that cruel ness.

I did smile this week, I read Yotas St Pixels blog and laughed and thought about the differences between men and women. A lady with a wedged shoe fell over with a thud in the town centre slush this week. There were hundreds of people going about their business and I left my baby in the shop whilst I went to the aid of this lady crashed on the floor.

I pounce when theres an emergency and am active immediately. Adrenalinn Kicks in. (maybe because I had to act fast when the babies were ill) Maybe cause im a woman or a mother. She was in her 30s had learning difficulties and was very large. She just sat on the wet floor crying and hurt and embarrassed and I sat with her.

My husbandy on the other hand is reserved, stands back, observes and asseses and lets others do the flapping, even in a life and death situation. Eventually it was him that went to help lift her. Two other stopped. Other passed by. I guess they thought things were being dealt with.

Together the balance is perfect.

Feeling still miserable and poorly last night I turned on the computer and saw the warm welcome botticelliwoman got from you all. I then saw some lovely kind entries on my blog that warmed me from the inside out.

Still feel a little poorly this morning but healthy and lucky in comparrison to Jade goody and others. Still feel a little tearful at the sadness around but mostly tearful at the love.

The love from Steve wrights sunday love songs and all the loving human nature showed on it. The love of helping a stranger in need. The love of people defending people they dont personally know. And the love often knocking around this place.

Wonder when this weak will end xxx xxx moonchild xxx

 sweet God bless the weather xx

john martyn xxx

Posted 11 Jan 09, 5:21AM

This morning I went on the early morning dog walk. Its the first time I've been on the early morning dog walk in a while. It was totally beautiful.

This is the time before most have risen or at least even thought of venturing out.

The streets were dusted with soft icing sugar and the leaves were suspended in a thin sugar glazing. The branches were like ice sculptures waiting to be melted by the rising sun who's amber glow was just beginning to kiss the earth.

In last weeks blog I said i needed art and literature and theatre and conversing.
Today I am sure that all I need is nature. and peace. And LOVE.
And a world without it would be hell.

Then God for me would be missing.

I am presently reading the shack.
xx moonchild xx

Posted 10 Jan 09, 2:50PM
 
beautiful moon tonight

beautiful round honesty paper moon tonight go look now xxx moonchild xxx

Sweetest God Bless x moonchild x child of the moon

Posted 30 Dec 08, 12:46PM

moon
 
a beautiful sickle moon and a solitary star out you window go look now.

Posted 19 Dec 08, 1:03PM

I am so excited

We are watching a recording of the twins christmas nativity tonight as a family flick.

Tomorrow we are making mince pies and im taking the family to see real reindeer
And a busy party weekend, and on sunday evening we are going to our childrens newly appointed Godparents house to celebrate winter solstice adults only hee hee.

Im am looking after my deceased nxt door neighbours house who every year lit up a crib in her window and i secretly am going to lamp light it for the twelve days of christmas and im so excited to feel the neighbours delight at people walking past their home who are missing their presence.
What hope I can spread.

And then on chrimble eve for the first time ever i have decided to take all all all the family even husbandy to the christmas eve service at the church.

Feels like proper christmas and ive even heard the stokes are getting white coats because its gona snow.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE XXX

Posted 12 Dec 08, 4:47AM

off loading.

This morning I screamed like a banshee at my children because its friday and they all grabbed clean uniforms out the cupboard.

I have a funeral to go to on thursday. And I want to go and then its back to the same part of the country at the weekend. And I cant do both.

Its freezing cold. And I have booked an appointment with the doc for next week as I have a niggeling pain when pressed for some time above and to the left of my belly button. I am secretly worried.

I spent one night 11 till 4 in hospital with my baby who has had a bout of croup. And was treated with steroids.

I havent even had time to read a page of my book.

And this morning in fustration and tiredness I took out my anger by flinging the old kitchen door open which propmtly hit the wood which was being stored behind it and came back and hit me straight in the forehead with a big crunch.

In pain, shock and true drama queen style I then tripped backwards over the dining room step and flug myself wet in my bath towell staight on the floor which was thilthy dirty in tears.

My husband who was holding the baby asked me what I was doing at which point I was so angry I falsely tried to squeeze out a tear and went back up and had another hot shower.

I have had no time this last week for myself its been mostly cleaning and holding a poorly one. Lots of sleepless nights and Im still breatfeeding.

But to end on a happy note yesterday I went to see my 5 year old twins in their chrismas nativity. This was a totally significant milestone for us (as they all are) as when they were six week old babies they were both seriously ill and we were told that our son may not make it throught the night.

Meadow was a fluffy cloud and just lovely and not shy like we expected a true performer. And Sky was just Sky.

The nativity was filmed and it was brilliant my son was Joseph he did xtra big actions to all the songs, he wore a giant smile and he sung his little heart out.

He antisipated all the lines and moves before everyone else and became the class propmt whilst still playing joseph. Even before people needed prompting.

He rocked baby jesus to high heaven, dropped him and picked him up as if nothing had happened.
When the wise kings came to give gifts and say there lines he said sshhhh the baby's sleeping.
To top it all he then completely forgot himself and picked his nose and ate it.

Cant wait to get the dvd.

OOh yes and a beautiful Full Moon last night. xxxxx moonchild xxxxx :

Posted 2 Dec 08, 12:44PM

Father figure dies

what a shock! when out having a merry christmas shop this morning I received a phone call. It was my mum phoning to tell me that my sisters husbands dad had died. He was 74 so a good life and I suppose to be expected after all its not unusual to picture an ageing in law coming to the end of their life after a certain age.

However I knew this man really well, and he was lovely to me. And that real ness make this news so shocking. Since my daddy died he was the immediate eldest next gentleman in our extended family. he was the head male. It felt safer knowing he was out there and I loved him. The other Dad in our family.

He died peacefully snuggled in his duvet in his chair. His wife sent for help and then the some people tried to resusitate him even though he had peacefully slipped away, and now autopsys as he died at home.

I cant help but wonder if we could make loosing our loved ones in our culture a little easier by being at peace with dying. accepting, sharing, celebration, and ritual like we used to in ancient times. Keeping your loved ones close until burial. Instead of a 74 year old man having to be taken away for autopsy.

Alas as one grows slowly older I guess we get evermore familiar with our loved one changing realms. But still I shall miss you dear man

Alan Beadle Thankyou for your support and your love and for the security that your presence gave to my life, I shall miss you dear man. xxx .sweet God Bless xxx

Posted 25 Nov 08,

Cant remember who said it but apparently there are two ways to live your life, as if nothing is a miracle or the alternative as if everything is a miracle.

What a lovely and positive idear. If I woke up how would I know there was a miracle, well firstly the sun would be shining toasty warm, clear blue sky, gentle breeze.

Trees and greenery would have covered all the concrete apart from little enticing pathways and everybody would be smiling, kind thoughtful,generous and full of Love. Thankyou for sharing your life,s experience x moonchild x

Posted 16 Nov 08, 10:48AM

Why moonchild ?
 
Moonchild was the first ever nick name I was given, when at secondary school on a camping holiday we secretly smoked in the tent.

My peers all appeared cool and seductive with long rolling drags and frenchies that rolled effortlessly from their pouting lipgloss, drifting O's which changed into clouds which changed into smog within our tent.

Me inhaling and then uncooly filling up with a nausiating sickness which seemed to start in my belly and repent in my head.

After taking in the air with my head outside the tent, I seemed to drift off into a more sedate sleep than intended and awoke the following morning with a rather wet dewy head and the awarded title from teachers on patrol that eve of Moonchild.

It stuck for a while and I rather liked it. I was identefiyable by a unique and discriptive name which none of my peers were privilidged enough to have.

Then life moved on, school changed to college, college to uni, uni to wifedom and now i have a whole collection of names used to suit different moods, somtimes fish wife has been known to affectionately feature, on more sedate occasions it has been known to be sweetened to petal fish, sometime wifer or wifey but mostly mumma and darling heart.

Moonchild was my maiden nick name, one acheived by truly independant means and long forgotton, so who would have thought that donkeys years later when joining the blog role that moonchild should be the first name to pop into my mind.

Having persuded myself that my old redundant nick name was pretty silly I have now thought about putting some kind of relevance to it.

Although an ageing mother who once would have presumed that life,s rich experience would make me wise I have noticed how I forever feel like the child, the unwise one seeking knowledge, sometimes slightly shy, sometimes fully bold only to retreat again into anonymity. Immensly reflective, Not glorius and confident like the sun but more spiritual and poetic and on one day a month full of wise ness. Why are you you x

Posted 13 Nov 08, 5:36AM

today life is amazing

A husbandy lovely english man 22 years my senior has warmed my living beyond words. Mine and our 6 children 5 that I have given birth to and one adopted from his previous marriage are so very lucky to be blessed with his polite kind wonderful ways. 

Everyday to me is so precious and sometimes in the heat of 5 children at home fustratingly un spiritual and then in other moments so perfect I just want to press the pause button.

Today is one such day. crisp, bright, a kestrel sat on a tree top and a feeling of antisipated love in the air like christmas. baby's waking got to go xxx